TITLE – I Saw Him First by Marjorie Sharmat
PAGE COUNT – 123
ALTERNATE TITLE –Broad shoulders do not an entire person make.
AGENDA – Two girls go bananas over a boy named Seymour Finkelstein and play – don’t you steal my pretend boyfriend, hussy for over a hundred pages.
MY HISTORY WITH THIS BOOK – When I was nine I had to read this book – the cover promised a juicy premise with a peek at life as a teenager if they were living an episode of Dynasty. On a wire spin rack with the likes of Don’t call me Sugarbaby and The Girl with the Silver Eyes I gave up a Thornton Burgess animal story for this … but I don’t recall it. I’m going in fresh.
PLOT – Yowers, in the first page we’re introduced to six names – hopefully I can keep them straight but I have a feeling some may never be heard from again.
Dana is the narrator who introduces herself in that chummy 1st pov that 80s YA authors liked to use. The set up is clear; she’s gone bananas for a boy with the unfortunate moniker of Seymour Finkelstein and blurts it to her bff (well the forever’s about to be put in jeopardy), Andrea, which she regrets. It happens as they’re mocking some beauty pageant, goofing on the contestant’s goal answers. Dana, rather than wishing for world peace, wishes for Seymour. Her ‘joke’ is seen as truth by Andrea and after talking about Seymour, Dana begs for tips on how to get him to notice her and Andrea says – eye contact.
Dana tries it out and manages to snag a hello out of the finkman which is mission accomplished. Of course there are sharks circling for this hunk. Possibly Jennifer next-door, who is beautiful and knows-it. As for Dana, she’s exhausted the novelty of that one hello over the weekend and is hungry for more. She asks Andrea for suggestions and she has plenty like taking all your clothes off in English class adding but that’s tacky of course. Instead, how about a big party. After daydreaming several scenarios of how that could go she manages to ask him (the plan is the usual – there is no party if he says no) and when he says yes, her pleasure is deflated by him asking her name.
She tries to reboost her joy by telling Andrea – who claims she can hardly wait. And there’s the rub … the title itch coming on and Dana blurts – “He’s mine Andrea.” And though Andrea can factually say – “You mean you own him.” Dana should have reminded her of Best Friend etiquette – hey, no claim jumping.
Her parents offer Dana an opportunity to come on their talk show and Dana talks the idea over with her dog Melvin who saves the day when she does the interview which felt like not only a wasted scene but one shoehorned in to give Dana clout; becoming a minor celebrity at school.
Jennifer, who is hated by Dana’s mother, drops a bomb that people can’t relate to her because she’s so spectacular looking (modest, I know but …) Jennifer goes on to wish she weren’t so conspicuous and tells Dana that she probably wishes she’d grow a mole or something which Dana had, and so respects her. So far I’m o.d-ing on quirk because the plot is sloooow going for saying the book is only 123 pages. But after this revelation thinking it could broaden their friendship she finds Andrea and Jennifer yelling in the cafeteria and Andrea calling Jen a conceited spoiled brat over … a spot in line. Dana doesn’t like to see this side of Andrea – a determined core bent on getting what she wanted. Little bit of foreshadowing.
But then Buzz Somebody (a tennis star) shows up to arrange to be on her parents talk show and fickle Dana is now thinking he’s pretty darn good looking and his hello is not the crumb Seymour tossed to her. And when she is invited to hang out after their schedule and contract for appearing is arranged, as soon as Buzz laughs at one of her jokes, she wants to know all about him. Seymour is practically history – but as the him of the title and us being 42 pages in he’s already a bit of a cardboard figure; a shrugging whatever Adonis. There’s a profound thought at the end of this scene – I thought about letting things happen and making things happen. There’s a big difference. An underrated idea in the new millennial – a fall-back for the fairy-tale ideal of love finding you.
Dana finally gets around to sending out invites to her spontaneous party (and squeals with Andrea every time someone turns it down) I guess the idea would be to have a forced ‘date’ with Seymour if nobody showed up although that to me would seem obvious and embarrassing. Andrea is still pretending to have never laid eyes on Seymour which has Dana on high alert and I’m picturing the party being a showdown hinted at on the cover – poor Dana and Andrea the lone guests with Seymour as the party favor. But before that can (or won’t) happen – their next big thing is to walk six miles past Seymour’s house in the chance meeting of saying another whoop-de-doo hi. (Three miles there, three miles back.) Despite Andrea pushing for this and chatting up his father who is outside and willing to go get Seymour who is inside the house – Dana bails on this obvious plot maneuver.
The party night finally arrives and Dana finds herself introducing Andrea to Seymour and getting a little green eyed that she’s never seen Andrea so toothy or Seymour so talkative. The debating team she invited (because they would be out of town) suddenly shows up and after playing hostess to an overflowing pack of guests, she finally has a moment to talk with Seymour alone. And then Andrea waltzes over to insist don’t let me interrupt. She can’t get anywhere with Andrea around worse she knows what her friend is up too and then the fink (Andrea not Finklestein) doesn’t even stay to help her clean up after the party.
Andrea calls fishing to find out how it went, does she still like Seymour meanwhile Dana is lying (I’m not sure) and vowing never to confide in her again. Andrea avoids her and then to pretend she’s not invites Dana to go shopping who’s startled that her friend is actually interested in clothes and is buying a fancy red dress – (by the end of the book this will be a really insensitive move on Andrea’s part.) They’re snippy on the bus ride as Seymour is brought up.
Later there is an awkward call to make up but Andrea brushes off an invite because she has homework and when Dana goes out with her parents to a restaurant bumps into Andrea in the bathroom wearing the red dress she bought.
As she blurts she’s out with her parents – this could be solved quite easily only we’re supposed to believe this restaurant is constructed of each table/booth is its own room and in this massive labyrinth of room/booths Dana can’t spot them?! The following imaginary scenario of Andrea’s nervous parents meeting Seymour is equally strange because Dana tells us Andrea like to call Planned Parenthood for … kicks? At first I wasn’t sure if that was an idea applied to Andrea because Dana was upset and it was a cruel daydream or to hint that Andrea was on the verge of being sexually active.
Buzz returns for his interview and asks out Dana. She’s so shocked that after all her fizzled attempts with Seymour that just being herself got her a date with a gorgeous older (he’s 21) celebrity. They go out for pizza and though she allows herself to acknowledge how natural this feels (Seymour is a fake dream) – in walks Andrea with Seymour. After all that dodging in the restaurant she’s caught in the doorway of a pizza parlor. The tension of this final revelation is much easier to handle being with a tennis star who even impresses Seymour (he asks for his autograph.) Meanwhile Andrea says nothing.
The rest of the weekend is just as much fun as she hangs out with Buzz at his book signings until she realizes when he leaves, she has to face two things – no more Seymour, no more Andrea.
And the biggest insult is that Seymour preferred Andrea over her.
She finally confides in Jennifer who says she should talk to Andrea – hear her side but the talk is more a fight when they meet up in a store. Dana is trying to return a pair of jeans and the title makes an appearance when Dana accuses – “… you knew I liked him. And I saw him first.” To which Andrea says – “I can’t steal something that doesn’t belong to them in the first place.” The gist of it all though is exposing which relationship meant more to Andrea – a year of friendship with Dana or a chance with Seymour – although Andrea denies this she admits she had to try even though she exposes her future with Seymour is shakier than she believes her friendship with Dana is – harping that Seymour hasn’t called her since they bumped into Dana with Buzz and she’s furious and jealous.
After this Dana sees Andrea with new bft (best friend for temporary) Ingrid, and is stung and later chagrin when they start stalking Seymour. When he begins to walk away from Andrea, Dana can’t decide if he’s a worm or has discovered, like she has, the truth about her. One day he walks over to Dana while Andrea’s trailing him and Dana for a moment feels a transference of power – (that she will have Seymour) but he only asks for her to get another autograph from Buzz for his little brother. It’s a moment in the book when after the build up has popped, one still wonders if Dana would’ve dated Seymour if only to grind her heel in Andrea. In some ways the reader isn’t too sure if every girl hasn’t got a little boystealer in her. That although Dana prides herself as the one who got burned we’re unsure if the roles couldn’t have just as easily been reversed.
The end of the book dangles the treat of a resolve. Dana goes for a walk heading for Andrea’s house but then seeing the boy Jennifer like parking at Andrea’s house, stops her in her tracks. Maybe Seymour might have been forgivable but Andrea’s starting to develop a pattern and says a silent goodbye to Andrea in her heart. And the question the cover asks – Is Seymour worth fighting for? is pondered by Dana who realizes she may never figure it out as he hasn’t pursued her and she’s still thinking about Buzz deciding their age difference will melt away in a few years, and when she gets home, it’s he who calls her.
SUB-PLOT – Her parents job as co-hosts on a talk show called Small Talk (cause their last name is Small) is in jeopardy throughout the book. They joke that maybe their mean boss has a nephew to take it over – and that turns out to be true. And it’s resolved by an offer for a syndication.
CHARACTER QUIRKS – Mr. Carlin her parents TV producer is such a creep that Dana wonders about his parents – I bet they kicked sick dogs.
PROSE – Once you’ve confessed something to someone, they’ve got a piece of you, and you can never get it back.
Color me rosy.
Some of the humor works some of it falls flat. Case in point; the one idea that fell flat for me – Dana does a lot of scene imagining and she imagines several conversations as how Seymour could react to being asked to her party, one is over-the-top romantic/silly, one is over-the-top insulting but for some reason, even in her mind, in this non-existent conversation she doesn’t react to the insults and in fact replies – “Is it possible that you love me, Seymour?”
Another flat moment is the tongue-in-cheek, I guess, interview with Dana but it’s too arch as if the typical teenager remarks are filled with hidden depth, or drollness or something. I didn’t get it and was as relieved as she was when Melvin, the typical teenager’s dog, interrupted.
FUNNY – “Have you met him?”
“No but I saw him. Andrea pointed him out today.”
Andrea? What business did she have pointing out my prize? (meaning Seymour.)
My favorite – One boy said he liked my shirt. The worms would have been proud. (the silk worms.)
COVER – do you think the models wore those outfits to pose for that artwork – I’m thinking nobody could make up Dana’s bumblebee socks those have to be real.
CLOTHES –Dana buys a green silk shirt and pairs it with jeans for her party – to ensure she doesn’t look as though she tried too hard.
SUMMARY/OPINION – I see why this book left no real lasting impression on me as the events are pretty ordinary gussied up by Dana’s tone and her imagination. To nine year old me this would’ve been frustrating especially when the cover promised a Dynasty blow-out cat fight.
The idea of the book shines better than some of its scenes – why would you sacrifice dignity, friendship, loyalty on the mere chance of dating a broad-shouldered cipher? Why also would you keep the fake ‘ownership’ of a boy you didn’t know and allow your friend to turn into a traitor to pursue him?
It’s such an unusual curio I don’t know what to make of it – it’s simultaneously dull and kooky, the humor either makes me laugh out loud or feels too forced. It’s like a Sweet Dreams romance turned on it’s ear. Seymour is kept deliberately vague which gives the idea a definite edge. But the subplot of the parents being talk-show hosts who happen to invite a dreamy young hunk tennis star was surreal. It’s like sorry you don’t get Seymour instead maybe you’d like this TOTALLY AWESOME TENNIS STAR WHO TOTALLY DIGS YOU AND YOU CAN TOTALLY UPSTAGE ANDREA TOO. And the end note of a friendship lost is bittersweet in fact it’s the only loss in the book and the scenes are too tilted to acknowledge Dana had played a part in making that happen. This is a tough one for me.
**1/2 maybe even two ** – the cover promised fireworks but the showdown was a little bit of a fizzle. Also the only loss was Andrea as Dana was given Buzz who wasn’t even some Sweet Dreams boy-next-door-who-drives-a-Honda – she was given a celebrity. And there was a point in which Dana could have said – you can have Seymour I don’t want him but she never did.
80’S COMPARISON – Tennis Stars! Anyone recall Carling Bassett – a blonde teen tennis star in the 80s? Back then they attempted to capitalize on her name by giving her a movie – Spring Fever in 1982. From the circulating posters and advertising you’d think this was a typical raunchy sex comedy and would be surprised to find it’s actually a banal if sweet story about tennis competitors becoming fast friends during their tournaments. It was one of my fave rainy day movies. I recall Carling being called K.C.
CLIQUEY PIZZA 2: more 80's teen book series & pop culture 