The Against Taffy Sinclair Club – Betsy Haynes – 70’s Bust improvement ads & goofy 70’s girls dresses from Sears and Eatons

       
      Betsy Haynes steps on the  heels of Judy Blume and Paula Danziger like a kid sister
for this , probably her best known masterpiece. It’s got all the Blume / Danziger touches – the lippy heroine , the angst of puberty and zingy slang. If you haven’t read it pick up a copy – I dare you to just read one Taffy Sinclair book without wanting to read another! In fact as I dug out my copy I strained to remember back to my childhood – which came first for me Taffy Sinclair or The Fabulous Five? – It’s a bit of a puzzler because though I recall having glimpsed or heard about the upcoming series Fabulous Five – I can’t find an ad predating the series. Sometimes publishers will put ads in the backs of similar books – i.e.  Bantam was pushing Sweet Valley High through Sweet Dreams and Scholastic’s Apple pushed Sleepover Friends through The Babysitters Club and though Sweet Valley Twins ( Bantam/ Skylark ) did advertize The Fabulous Five – I can’t seem to find one predating the series hmmm. Maybe if I had my original copies of SVT’s. I have the original covers but some copies admit to be a second printing.
     So when could I’ve jumped on the Taffy band wagon? My best guess would be Blackmailed by Taffy Sinclair  ( published a year before the Fab 5 ) –  the cover sticks out most in my mind – probably cause I  wanted Taffy’s white fur bomber. The rest followed – but sort of backwards – The Against Taffy Sinclair Club was one of the last ones I  read.
    Did I save the best for last? You decide.

*** Before you continue if you’re a fan of the Fabulous Five – you’ll note some differences and continuity errors – this was published in 1976 – a full decade and 1 year before the series started – and things were probably added and changed to make the series more interesting. You may also notice one of the biggest changes is that the p.o.v. ( point of view ) in the Taffy books were all from Jana’s p.o.v.  ( it’s I said rather that Jana said ) with the exception of 1 book ( The Truth about Taffy Sinclair ) through Taffy’s p.o.v. and 2 that continued in the style of The Fabulous Five and became omnipresent – Taffy’s I said – became Taffy said. ***
    The Plot –
                  Jana Morgan is a brash alarmist , and borderline neurotic. She doesn’t mince words. She’s fixed her evil eye on the school’s most beautiful girl Taffy Sinclair and even started a club against her – and it’s only function seems to be finding ways of bugging Taffy like by ordering a free sanitary napkin sample in her name or  sending her a rude joke card or reporting every little thing she does scathingly slanted in the club’s notebook. Taffy Sinclair doesn’t seem to be doing anything really to deserve this behavior – but we’re told she purposely drops things in order to bend over in front of boys and show off her underwear and wrote Jana has B.O. on the chalkboard – last year. But since it’s never made clear which came first the club or Taffy’s chalky slur – the reader is never sure if Jana is justified. The only friend Taffy’s got is a tag-a-long called Mona whose as ugly as Taffy’s beautiful. Part of Jana’s problem is that she’s harboring hurt feelings from spending all summer expecting her screw-up father to take her on a promised trip out west that he oh-so non-chalantly offered to take her on at Easter. She still has the card in her boot box and can’t understand a thing about her parents divorce – especially when her mom only has good things to say about him. Jana looks for faults to justify and blame. She soothes herself that Taffy has one fault – a crooked bicuspid.
    She’s about to find out crooked bicuspids won’t cut it. Not this year.
    Beth Barry her best friend calls her up to blurt you won’t believe it – Taffy Sinclair has you-know-whats!
    Alert the papers! (  I kept thinking what  if Taffy had to deal with the Unicorn club hating her, Jessica probably would’ve slipped that tidbit into the Sixth Grade Sixers – under Liz’s name of course. And it probably would’ve backfired. )
    Of course Jana is horrified and calls for an emergency club meeting which helps to introduce the characters – Beth Barry her best friend  who in the Fabulous Five will be peppery and outrageous a bit of a big mouth starts off very subdue and sensible here – but what can you do – she could never out-do Jana’s tone here ( plus. there is a general rule in p.o.v. that if the I character is wild most of the surrounding characters will be rather passive but if the I character is laid back most the characters can be more outspoken. ) spunky Melanie Edwards is merely fat here described as probably eating Brownies 24 7 , Christie as usual is dismissed as being suspiciously smart as if her mother being the principal had something to do with it. And Katie is a radical feminist – she’s all sharp edges here ( in the Fabulous Five – they softened her a bit ) but she’s a real hoot.    
    Jana is embarrassed because when Beth arrives both are trying to see whether the other has breasts. Jana breaks the earth shattering news. Taffy Sinclair has you-know-whats. Everyone is duly horrified. Beth however has a plan – she’s found an ad in the back of a magazine promising a four inch upgrade on your bustline – the gimmick is called the Milo Venus ( ha! Ha the Venus deMilo ) and for only 19.95 they too can at least have something to put in their training bras.
    But 19.95 they shriek and though this was a small fortune.
    But remember it’s the 70’s , I did the math – and compared to today’s standards they probably were looking at a little under a hundred bucks.
    Lets put it this way their weekly dues were five cents.
    They decide they’ll have to raise money – or wait till they grow their breast au-natural , and also that they’ll need some code word to talk about this with no one knowing. Beth , who has a sister in college ( not in Fabulous Five Brittany is only sixteen ) , suggests Lambda Rho greek letters that can stand for anything starting with L R. What do they pick? Little Raisins. I kid you not!
    Oh , Jana has to call up Katie because she wasn’t there. I assume it was because Katie wouldn’t have gotten through one moment of that meeting! When Jana tells her Taffy has you-know-whats , Katie could care less but is disgusted. Do you mean breasts! Then call them breasts that’s the problem with women today they don’t face reality! Jana gets her to simmer down by slyly saying – in order to be a bona fide bra burner you have to at least own one. Katie laughs. But still thinks she’s crazy.
    The first day of school comes and Jana winds up showing up in the exact same purple  dress as Taffy – only with that horrible smocking front – hers clings to her flat front – while Taffy’s swells to reveal her budding bosom – how awful! Oddly enough Taffy is only glaring at her for the fashion crisis , she doesn’t even bother to mock Jana’s bosomless state.
    It occurs to me how odd this all is when I rediscovered what grade they’re entering , not sixth as I thought – but fifth grade! Did anyone worry about breasts in the fifth grade? I mean
technically Jana and her gang are ten years old! Maybe 11. Oh well – I guess it’s like hair clips if one person’s wearing them – everyone else has to have them.
    Their teacher turns out to be dreamy Mr. Neal who Taffy makes a point of allowing her elbow to brush his jacket in a manner that says nyah nyah I touched Mr. Neal – Jana can only counter with blurting out a meeting of Lambda Rho – the girls think she’s crazy anyone can know about Greek letters she might even guess what it means – Honey , nobody’s going to guess that one! But if Taffy did – Jana’s thought is – I’m be so embarrassed that I’d die. Which is a phrase used in this book about as often as Are you there God it’s Me Margaret in Are you there God it’s Me Margaret. Incidentally, I don’t think Jana ever acts this over dramatic in The Fabulous Five – she gets kind of a personality transplant – trading her mania for Melanie’s mellow tone , but for Melanie the mania has been toned down to exuberance and over the top dramatizing usually about boys.
    While waiting for the Milo Venus they decide to speed up their crop – first they measurement themselves and record it in the back of their notebook – geez these girls are brave! And then hey start in on the bust exercises – I must – I must – I must increase my bust ( just kidding – that’s a line from Are you there God it’s me Margaret )
    Mr. Neal assigns How I spent my Summer reports and goofy Jana rather than making up a small lie – makes up a colossal whopper – all about an exciting wild west trip with her dad. He’s so impressed, the report is going to be printed in the school newspaper. Meanwhile the girls have decided Melanie’s gorgeous brownies are the way to make their money. There’s even a hilarious scene of Jana trying to get her hands on one of her mother’s cook books to find a brownie recipe without her mom knowing and asking a lot of questions – she finally has to skulk through her apartment in the middle of the night. And during the cooking of the brownies Jana blurts that her report is a big fat lie and is about to be printed in the school newspaper.
    What are you going to do? Beth asks
    Blow up the school – Jana replies – I kind of got a shiver reading that now – I mean it’s humorous then when crazy stuff like that never happened but it’s loony to know the reality that now exists behind that statement – I wonder if they’d edit that out in reprints?
    The brownie sale is a huge success and even Taffy buys one via Mona.
    But later the dooming high heels of the lady come to deliver the school paper has Jana up and running and not quite making it – she barfs all over her shoes in front of everyone – but consoles herself at least she got out of class. Beth calls her after school and tells her don’t worry nobody knows the report is a lie but …well Taffy’s up to something. Jana’s convinced Taffy’s going to tattle and not even the news that Beth has ordered the Milo Venus can perk her up.
    However the next day Taffy shocks her with something worse than tattling,  I found a notebook belonging to you she grins, so I gave it to Mr. Neal for safe keeping. Horrified Jana gathers up the others and tells them. They’re full of suggestions from the simplest – ask for it back – I’d rather die! – to steal it back – and get caught! Stumped they can do nothing. But Beth creatively says lets get Mr. Neal to believe the book is a fake – they’ll all be nice to Taffy. If this book wasn’t so dang funny , and if I didn’t catch Jana cringing at her own behavior this story might be as bad as Judy Blume’s Blubber. Fortunately it manages to make a point ( sort of ) without becoming didactic.
    To celebrate be-nice-to-Taffy day – Jana stuffs two cotton balls in her training bra! ( who starts fifth grade in a training bra? ) Sensible Katie takes one look and bemoans – [ “What in the world do you think you’re doing? Nobody is going to believe you grew those overnight.” ] Beth eagerly wishes Jana brought extras. But Jana learns wearing falsies takes better preparation than shoving in a couple of unanchored cotton balls – one of which naturally wiggles loose and plays peek-a-boo with Taffy who laughs. Jana nearly dies of course.
    And Betsy Haynes manages to work in a swear word without actually spelling it out, when Jana tells the reader that her life has officially turned into a four letter word she’s not allowed to say ( but every reader can guess. )
    By now Jana turns to her mom who pegs what’s really wrong with Taffy  – Jana’s prejudice and jealousy. Stung that her mother sides with the enemy , she runs out with a can of paint and sprays- TAFFY SINCLAIR HAS HER PERIOD – across the cement entrance to the school. I don’t see how she can justify – red spray paint which is practically permanent against a chalk slur , Jana has B.O.,  written a year ago and which could be immediately erased but that’s Jana for you. Naturally she feels regret and in the morning wakes early to blot out the slur with more paint only to find the janitor scrubbing it off with turpentine.
    Reformed, she stalls her club members who are awaiting another scheme to get the book back. But before that can happen- the Milo Venus arrives – hazzah! – bigger boobs here we go ….hmmm go is right – there’s a cone shaped thing , a booklet and cream – she pitches the whole creepy lot out. ( It’s officially becoming a habit – Jana showing better judgment after the fact! )
    As to the book, no sweat ,  it comes to Jana’s apartment in the hand of the rampaging gorilla-like Mrs. Sinclair. In the other hand she’s dragging a red eyed Taffy whose terrified. Okay , now Jana can sweat. Mrs. Morgan stays very calm – and I have to admire her restraint. Learning you child is the president of a club against someone would be pretty humiliating. The mothers leave the girls alone and Taffy blurts that it wasn’t her idea , she never wanted anyone to see the those horrible things written about her. Jana’s apology is halfhearted – I guess I don’t feel too hot having written them. And Taffy as though she wasn’t talking to her mortal enemy ( but someone whom she’d like to befriend ) admits her mother has had plastic surgery. The Sinclair’s leave and Mrs. Morgan gives Jana back her book , which crumbles Jana into confessing all – even about the Milo Venus. Her mom makes milkshakes ( how understanding can you get! – I’d have been grounded for a month! ) and they talk. Her mother warns her to stop turning people into villains to take the blame for uncomfortable situations ( like her father.) However in the Fabulous Five , I thought he was turned into an alcoholic not merely irresponsible. Anyhoo – Jana tells the others the bust machine was a bust – ha! Ha! Couldn’t resist. So Katie suggests a self improvement club and Jana is the first to raise her hand.

     Not a bad read – but the message is definitely muddled. Having just witnessed five girls decide to wage a hate-club against a girl simply because she’s a little snooty ( which we’re never sure is a result of being ostracized or not )and there’s not enough depth ( other than a cover illustration – definitely in Taffy’s favor ) to make us feel too sorry for Taffy, leaving Jana almost justified. As for Jana , she constantly denies her feelings about her flaky father to the point where everything becomes sketchy almost numb in it’s narrow mindedness ( can we trust her assessment of Taffy when she’s so wrong about her dad ) with the exception of one feeling which permeates the book – embarrassment. If we’re to assume Jana gets the message – why then is there a second book in which even the self improvement club sounds as if they got their results before they’d done the work – i.e.The Fabulous Five.
    But I’ll give it ***½ just for the zaniness.

Other Oodles
* When Jana’s hoping that Mr. Neal didn’t read their notebook – I love Katie’s reply – [ “Are you kidding?” said Katie. “Of course he read it. Teachers are the nosiest people in the world outside of parents. They read everything they can get their hands on. They’re always trying to find out if their little darlings are up to something.” ]       

* How crazy is this – Jana grabs a book in reading that she’s read many times before – Cowslip – which is guess-who’s book? Betsy Haynes! – you gotta love her for that!
* Jana reads Mad magazine – Pink brings her two of them – I just can’t picture Jana from the Fabulous Five reading Mad – Betty and Veronica maybe but Mad!
* What’s the deal with the name Wallace? – Pink – Jana’s soon to be stepfather , his real name is Wallace – which is the same name used for Kristy’s step father in The Babysitter’s Club.
* Dated touches – the kids think Jana’s report is swell , Katie thinks the Milo Venus scheme is far out. Groo-vy!               
* I don’t think one fifth grade boy is mentioned in this entire book! Which makes the jealousy thing even odder – usually people are jealousy of gorgeous girls because they’ve got the admiring eye of teachers , and boys especially , here Taffy doesn’t have anything or anyone – it’s almost pathetic to be so jealous of her , here.
* Some continuity errors – Beth has an unnamed sister in college ( in TFF – she’s called Brittany and she’s 16 ) , though it’s not stated it’s almost is implied that Melanie has no siblings ( in TFF – she has a little brother Jeffy ) ,and Beth is extremely low key in this book.

* In the 80’s baby name book Beyond Jennifer and Jason – the name Taffy is mentioned in a list of names ‘better suited to a parakeet’ under the heading – Not enough to live up to – with other gems like Bubbles , Flip and Pepper. Ha!

 

*Was there ever a Milo Venus?- not that I know of …there was however a Mark Eden – premier bust developer of the 70’s! Check out these goofy ads – circa Jana Banana’s time – 1975-1976.

 

* And this one dream on girls….!

* Okay now check out some groovin’ fashions from 1976! – Eatons Barbie patchwork line.

A smocking top dress!

* The one in the corner is dubbed Pow Plaid and they ain’t kidding – talk about sock-it-to-you color!

* When I first read The Against Taffy Sinclair club and it got to the part when it says how Taffy bends over to show all the boys her underpants, I thought how short is this girls dress? I forgot about the date thing ( 80’s dresses weren’t that short ) – but these dresses other than the maxi-length skirts are super-short like babydoll short , I get it now.

* Yikes – pepto pink argyle pants!

* Hold it – I think I found the purple dress – or near enough about…

* Close enough – just imagine the smocking.

* Back in the 80’s I assumed Jana was the one on the far left – holding the red book. But now after rereading it – and knowing Jana’s dark hair in the Fabulous Five I’m pretty sure oddly enough – Jana is in the short sleeved purple dress , Melanie is the chubby redhead. I think Katie is the girl glaring at Taffy. Beth is looking at Jana in the white blouse and Christie – because she’s usually out of the loop is naturally faceless. Taffy reminds me of Charlene Tilton here. Whaddaya think?

Fabulous Five – Breaking up to Eve Buntings Sixth Grade Sleepover – Reader Squeezers 70’s & 80’s old school readers

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How I loved getting a new reader every year – well it was scarcely new having that strange smell of heavy glue and that glossy aged paper. I don’t doubt that everyone who enjoys reading doesn’t feel nostalgic for a particular school reader but I have to admit I put the readers of the 70’s and 80’s on a whole nother plain – the art work , that Peter Max meets School house Rock feel , the short stories combined with poems and Sesame Street-esque info – Even the packaging – the row of colorful spines for the Childcraft series , the collages of pictures and funky drawings. Spectacular!
The names were always fun – Mr. Whiskers , The Purple Turtle , Treasure Hunt , Fun Parade etc.. The writers were always varied – from spot on technique to a lose , rough almost childlike style , easily to relate to , full of sharp onomatopoeic sounding words – like whiz-bang , purr , gulp.
Some highlights from Starting Points in Reading B – circa 1973 – a poem by Bill Moore – The Large and Small of it about a Chihuahua and a Mastiff , a section of a story by Mary Stolz called The Bully of Barkham Street – told from the point of view of the bully. A Chapter entitled Things that Go Boomp in the Night. I love that Boomp! A story ( straight after the heart of Schoolhouse Rock or Sesame Street ) called What Can You Do with A Word? By Jay Williams. It’s about a boy named Fred who works for a witch who gives him a seemingly useless machine that will produce words as three dimensional objects- for instance he produces the word Spang that stretches like an elastic before it snaps ‘and shot Fred spang into the middle of next week.’ He uses the sharp edged word Zig Zag to cut down a tree , and the fizzing , brilliant word Sparkle to light up a dark forest. I would have been chugging out words like jeans , boots , fedora.
The other Starting Points in reading A – by Ginn and Company features the rather macabre poem Skip Skip Skip – a skipping rhyme which was seen in the Alfred Hitchcock movie Marnie ( a must see! Sean Connery is so sexy! How I loved Hitchcock week on Buffalo WUTV – channel 29 – that was when t.v.’s had dial knobs not buttons.) – Call for the doctor , call for the nurse call for the Lady with an Alligator purse. Next is a colorfully illustrated story called Aunt Agatha there’s a Lion under the couch! about just that – but the boy is perceived to be lying even as he’s carrying a tray of food up to the beast which includes a hamburger the size of a catchers mitt and a magnificent bowl of trembling tapioca. This image always stuck in my mind -trembling tapioca , nobody in my house but me liked tapioca and always tried to convince me tapioca was made of goldfish eyes – but since I could find no pupils I didn’t buy it. Even though it’s only a story I always wondered like who in the world would allow their child to prepare such a feast for a supposed imaginary friend?! My mother would have had my imaginary friend making do with imaginary cookies. Then there is Maurice Sendak’s poem Chicken Soup with Rice. Another story is told with a simple poor-boy tone called a Big Pile of Dirt about a group of inner city kids who have no playground accept for a big pile of dirt and some junky items including a crumbly armchair used like a throne , to keep them entertained. Even when a playground is set up the boy is still wistful for his big pile of dirt. My favorite thing in the whole reader are two cooking recipes – one for glazed ice Cream balls – basically dipping ice cream in Tang or frozen orange juice and rolling them in crushed walnuts the other all duded up in funky 70’s artwork is for grilled cheese sandwiches with a secret ingredient – I can’t have my grilled cheese sandwiches without it now! Mustard – that’s right , instead of just buttering the bread the recipe calls for mustard , yum! There are several stories concerning names topping it off with one called The Bakers Daughter about a snobby girl who promises to give her friend the glorious cake in her father’s bakery window not knowing till her friend tries to cut into it , that the cake is made of cardboard and is for display purposes only! Linking it with the other name themed stories is the fact that the Baker’s daughter has no name and it’s suggested that the teacher ,for a lesson , has the reader give her a name – I thought it should always be slightly exotic , but old fashioned – Marguerite , Gwendolyn , Rosemarie , Cecilia.

Ripple Effects by Networks starts off with a story called The Mind Reader by Jean Booker a cheery romp reflecting true junk series fiction – with the main girl making the most of her possibly coincidental ability to tell the future by setting herself up as a gypsy at a school fair. Terrific illustration sets the tone – a green eyed girl sits pensive before a cluster of make-up and bangles. Sometimes I wished Sweet Valley had been illustrated it would’ve been cool to see James Mathewuse’s idea of Jessica’s Hershey Bar bedroom , or better yet the Dari Burger. Jam packed with other stories and Aesop fables and a bunch of mock ads for detective agencies with pun names like – Hyde and Seek associates and Undercover Investigation on Blanket ave. It’s a lead in for the next story based on the pun of – help , I’m a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory literally. It’s called the Secret of the Fortune Cookie by Ricki Glinert and features pictures illustrations recalling the 40’s era of inky dark Mystery magazines covers. There are some eye catching poems whose shape and wording echos their theme and a rueful story about an arguing boy and girl who band together to nurse a wounded duck, they found at the title locale of the story The Dip , to no avail. The artwork is very patchwork , applique full of color.

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All this heady reminiscing for some tattered readers , full of dog ears and those not so nice linked messages running along the bottom of the page you are a … turn to page 93 , and a … turn to page 101 , made me explore the novelty of fictional characters who love books. I expected it to be easy – I mean it would be downright unloyal for a fictional character to slur reading – though Jessica often does , but I was shocked at how little reading actually is mentioned in books whose very world hinges on it’s existence – Sorry I’m starting to get a little Never Ending Story on you. The lack of reading made me think of a terrific crack in a Just the Ten of Us episode in which Wendy ( wily , boycrazy blonde ) asks her fraternal twin Cindy ( curvy , dimwitted , redhead ) to meet her at the library – when Cindy arrives late , Wendy waiting impatient declares , “Where were you?!” “Sorry ,” Cindy burbles , “I didn’t know where the library was.” It just about summed up the average girl in the 80’s ,or maybe it was the image they hid behind because thousands , millions of series books were sold. Picked up perhaps with a bottle of Bold Hold hairspray and a pink tipped hair pick to fluff up your perm , just so.
I almost didn’t find any spectacular reading moments in series fiction – Elizabeth’s fondness for her beloved Amanda Howard – didn’t cut it , neither did Claudia’s hidden copies of Nancy Drew but then I ran across The Fabulous Five’s #28 Breaking up which wasn’t solely about books but their was an interesting side story which echoed the very theme of a fabulous non series book called Six Grade Sleepover by Eve Bunting.

The Fabulous Five #28 Breaking up – Starts with a bombshell – Jana has temporarily broken up with Randy in an effort to see if they are truly suited for each other after discovering her mother wished she’d spent more time dating when she was young , rather than rushing into marriage with Jana’s father. Curiously though as Randy suddenly free, is paired up with Lisa Snow for a Family Living project the story doesn’t take it’s zealous reader down the usual , expected path. Laura ( Jana’s arch nemesis – who is always after Randy is barely is mentioned in this book.) Instead Jana battles the more subtle advances of Lisa Snow & Sara Sawyer. Her problems increase however when Keith sidles into Jana’s booth at Bumpers to ask about Jana’s breakup. This is the early whoa vibe for the reader and for Jana who notices Keith disappears the second he thinks he might bump into Beth. It doesn’t take a genius to see where this is going – Keith wants Jana to dump Beth for him , why? cause he wants to ask out Jana! Meanwhile all her so-called friends are clamoring to date Randy. Funny thing is , it’s quiet Sara Sawyer making a play for him and not the obvious Laura. Beth doesn’t take the break up too well , though she had to agree with the reader that Keith Masterson was often immature and a jerk – but he was her jerk. Jana decides not to tell Beth why Keith wanted to dump her and finds herself caught in the middle of Beth begging her to perhaps talk Keith into taking her back and fending off Keith. Meanwhile since both of them don’t have dates for a Friday night ( heaven forbid! I mean they are only thirteen! ) they gloomily agree to sign up for a Friday night sleepover at the library and finally the wisp of a sidestory appears – it’s a book buddy event. Any second grader who reads over twenty books is eligible to attend a read in and sleepover at the library and they are asking kids at Wacko Junior high to help out. Other kids sign up making the idea more trendy – Randy Kirwin , Sara Sawyer and of course the ever ardent Keith Masterson. Unfortunately despite a
jaw-droppingly opulent , library complete with built in treehouse , the backdrop takes a back seat to the show down that’s about to take place. Keith pitches Jana a note which childishly intones
Keith Masterson + Jana Morgan which Beth snatches and reads hoping it’s about her and him getting back together. Now all of Jana’s secretive side stepping , her sudden cool off period with Randy makes Beth think that Jana wanted Keith all along. As if! But it’s junior high and this theory catches like wild fire pretty much spoiling the Read-in. The next morning Jana calls up Katie for a sympathetic ear only to discover Beth’s already blabbed the incident leaving out some choice details , and Katie actually believes Beth! This is one of the most implausible moments for me , in this series – Jana is painfully nice and for her own friends to believe she’d do something this rotten is rather dubious. When Jana finally tries to get Keith to fess up and rectify this mess , Keith won’t and bald-face lies , as a crowd gathers and Jana’s reputation hangs in the balance. Keith goes to far and fakes a date between Jana and him. Flabbergasted – her big moment to unveil Keith as a liar almost fails until she calls him on the date and Randy asks what they ordered at Mama Mia’s ( Randy & Jana’s old hangout ) , Sausage and Double cheese – fraud! Randy grabs Keith to slug him and the reader can cheer – everyone knows Jana likes Pepperoni , green pepper and mushroom pizza. They make up and Beth begs Jana to forgive her , Jana learns she should’ve confided in her friends why she wanted to break up with Randy in the first place ( her mother had regretted not dating more because she would’ve discovered Jana’s father wasn’t right for her , ) but then of course Jana wouldn’t exist – which Jana forgot.
At the end of the book is a recipe for Katie’s Taco soup mentioned in the book because Katie is on a gourmet health food kick – I’ll have to try it out some time it actually sounds pretty good.
I was disappointed that there wasn’t much said about the Read-In. It was virtually just a place for Beth to find out about Keith and that was it , in fact there isn’t even a clear idea of what took place after the blow up. I can imagine it would’ve been a rather volatile night.

The idea of a sleepover for a Read-in was done before and better in a terrific story called Sixth Grade Sleerpover ( love the jumbled, bubble lettering on the cover -orange , dark pink , yellow and bright pink! ) by Eve Bunting. The book is about Janey and Claudia two sixth graders who belong to R.A.B.B.I.T.S (read a book bring it to school ) an exclusive reading club at school. The requirements for membership is to read a minimum of books proved by written book reports due each month ( I couldn’t seem to pin down an exact number ). Though both girls are excited about the sleepover , Janey the main character whose p.o.v the story is taken from , is scared , she’s afraid of the dark and doesn’t think she can handle being in the cafeteria late at night with lights out. Claudia her best friend suggests they could hold hands at night , anything to ensure she doesn’t miss one of the most exciting events of sixth grade. As Janey is trying to work out a way she can attend the sleepover without letting anyone find out her secret , Claudia is trying to find a way of getting the boys they like to car pool with them. Blake is Janey’s favorite a nice boy who always has a Day-glo pen handy and Malcolm , Claudia’s favorite who never takes off his baseball cap. The teacher’s are Mr. Puttinski ( Putt-Putt ) who has the club mascot in his homeroom a real rabbit called Pebbles named from one of the loudmouth boys Jefferson Ames comment of the rabbit leaving little ‘pebbles’ behind him. In class they play a form of Mad Libs called who what where when and why , with Janey longing for, just once, her name to come up – Sylvie the class beauty is always mentioned and during this incident Jefferson Ames shouts out that her name was written with Blake’s day-glo pen! This makes Janey more anxious to go to the sleepover and brave her fear just to ensure she’ll be there and maybe can get to know Blake instead of leaving Sylvie with the opportunity. I love Sylvie’s outfit! Janey describes her as looking really yummy in a pinky red sweater and pinky red cords the color of strawberry slush ( I love that description! – cords were a big deal in the 80’s – people tend to look at them as those drab pencil thin furrows perhaps the color of oatmeal but I remember fat velvety plush cords whose colors were incredible – I had some in aqua blue , and crayon green! ) Sylvie also has silver barrettes in her hair that look like huge paper clips ( most of my barrettes were just the Goodie kind – little blue boats and yellows ducks – stuff like that ) . Janey describes Sylvie as someone who always finds out new trends , her friend Tina follows and she ( Janey ) and the others lag somewhere behind in the trends. Isn’t that the truth ( now with the internet it’s possible to be a little more on top of things ) but I remember a girl in school and she was always the first to do something – whatever the fad was she was the forerunner , I recall though I had a couple of shining moments (fashion wise) but other than those I pretty much followed. Goldie is the other teacher involved in the club , one of those fabulous people the reader wishes they had for a teacher. She’s called Goldie because everything about her , her skin , hair , even a couple of teeth are golden and emphasizes her nickname by gobbing on lots of gold jewelry ( which Jefferson Ames has been known to call her Mr. T behind her back – something Jane would never do ) She carries a bouquet of celery ( that’s right celery ) with her the way some people mostly movie stars would carry a bouquet of flowers. She has even inspired Janey er Jane to love her plain-Jane name by reading her a quote from Jane Eyre which makes Jane sound like the most romantic name in the world.
Janey covertly tries to find out what her mother talked to Goldie about , if the situation concerning the lights at the sleepover has been settled but most of all if her secret is safe. While there she bumps into Blake who reveals he is glad when Janey reveals that she now may be going which definitely boosts her spirits. I love the awkwardness Eve Bunting has created between the boys and girls, it gives a real genuine feeling to gauche adolescence when you sweated over the lousiest of things, a mere hello. I remember back in grade school you were always hopeful that a boy would say hi back but there was no guarantee and waiting for it was worse than the sing-song minutes ticking away on Final Jeopardy with thousands riding on an answer. And their was always a creep like Jefferson Ames around keeping tabs any opportunity to yell out something like oh so-and-so’s got a crush. Unfortunately Janey’s night light plan is a bust when a trial run to the cafeteria reveal the awful truth that the darkness practically swallows the little squares of light. Rosie the slightly weird new girl in school ( her defect seems to be ultra big feet) has managed to arrange it so that Blake and Malcolm will be in their car pool , making Janey and Claudia the envy of the more popular Sylvie and Tina when they reveal that not only did they receive a note from a boy ( only to pass on the car pool plans ) but that they will also be riding with them. Sylvie meanwhile had been discussing her adorable new p.j’s pink with feet and a soft puff of a bunny tail ( in 1986 footy pajamas were still somewhat popular but in a way that you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in them outside your house ) I had a pair of fuzzy furry green ones but that was in fifth grade – by sixth grade I had moved onto the ever popular ever reliable nightshirt. Janey and Claudia begin to rethink their pajama situation they’d planned with Rosie to wear sweatshirts and cords now they began to wonder if a shopping trip is in order. They’re off to buy p.j’s Claudia buys one that looks like a baseball jersey with the words Sweet Dreams Dodgers on it because Malcolm wears a Dodgers cap – Clever and sly. While Janey buys a nightgown with lace and pink and white candy stripes and matching pale pink ballet slippers. Rosie is set up with a bit of a mystery , a lonely sort of girl who lives with a grandfather whose going blind and her mother works two jobs to support them , Rosie is caught with a bag full of books from the library a weird mix – Day of the Jackal and One Fish , Two Fish , Red Fish , Blue Fish. It seems Janey’s not the only one with a secret. The night of the sleepover arrives with the girls excited , frightened , nervous , Janey’s little sisters behave nicely for once handing her special soap that even the boys in the car think smells nice. And on the drive Janey is ecstatic that she can actually have a conversation with Blake about books , marveling about how the power of reading can actually do that. While Blake continues his book conversation with Janey later in the library , Sylvie tries to horn in showing Blake and only Blake a picture from a Garfield the cat comic book. As the night gets started with what else reading – Janey marvels is there anything so cozy in the world as lying on a sleeping bag with your friends around you , munching celery with peanut butter , and reading a good book!
I loved how Janey reveals that they’re not allowed to wear any make-up but Chapstick. I loved Chapstick! Especially cherry – the smell brings me back to 80’s super-cold winters. I was not as restricted however and could wear make-up in sixth grade – I loved – Kissing Potion , those paint box eye shadow kits , Dr. Pepper lip smackers , Bonne Bell Liquid blush and Colbalt blue mascara. Of course I couldn’t be bothered to put it on every day but I liked the fact that I was allowed. I recall some girls smuggling make-up in their pencil cases. Strange it wasn’t as if they did the whole ‘Stephanie’ thing in Degrassi Junior High ( if you don’t recall that – in the show Stephanie goes to school in good-girl clothes – preppy collar tops , long skirts and ditches them in the girls washroom for tight skirts , boob tubes and Madonna make-up ) mostly the girls just touched up their faces with pastel colors to match their big white hoop earrings. It was all pretty tame.
The night continues on with the surprise of Goldie and her husband singing together , startling everyone by the magic of their glittering outfits and talent. A game called King and Queen that I had never heard of which includes two players racing around with erasers on their head ( they are unable to touch them ) ordered by Putt-Putt as to who had to tag who – such as if he calls out Queen – Janey would chase Blake , and just as she goes to tag him he could call out King meaning she has to abruptly get away from him. And wouldn’t you know it the one person you don’t want to be paired with is the one person you get – I always thought teachers either a. wanted revenge on students by their pairing or b. occasionally felt sorry for a student resulting in the pairing. Janey gets paired with Blake and of course an accident happens when Janey’s eraser slips and she winds up conking him on the nose with her fist , so hard it’s brought tears to his eyes or ahem how he says it when Janey mistakenly ( and she knows it’s a mistake ) says please don’t cry – he’s not crying his eyes are watering. Oh boy. Now Janey feels as though her magic night is slipping away. And the worse is yet to come. At lights out Janey is positioned so some of the light will fall on her but’s it’s not enough sneaking out to the washroom she bumps into Rosie , caught crying in a stall. Has she met a kindred spirit someone with a problem like her? No, though Rosie does admit to being a little afraid of the dark , she tells Janey her secret , she can barely read and has gotten by listening to books on tape and reading stuff like Red Fish , Blue Fish , One Fish , Two Fish. As the girls talk Janey encourages Rosie to get help , and decides to stay the night with her to help her finish reading her nights pages. But when Janey goes to grab her sleeping bag little peeping noises coming from inside cause her to scream. Believing her worst fears about the dark have come true reality is much better – Pebbles has had a litter of babies. Janey feeling relieved decides to confesses her fear and asks for the lights to be left on. Nobody mocks her or laughs or complains. Which I found refreshing but amazing. In the morning they take balloons to sail off their evenings readings to perhaps inspire whoever finds them. Janey takes a yellow balloon and tells herself it doesn’t much matter what color Blake takes until he too snatches the other yellow balloon and brings over his day-glo pen for Janey to use , afterwards saying keep it. Janey is astonished , pleased. The story
ends on a pleasant note with Janey and Blake’s balloons strings tangling in the sky.
This was one of my first books I’d ordered through those school book clubs – I had previously watched other kids order like mad, slightly envious when those stacks of glossy books came in and decided to do something about it , I ordered this book and the Babysitters club # 3 after someone had told me what a great series it was , I read both books until I practically had them memorized.
I remembered thinking what a great idea – a sleepover with books! O.k. so it sounds like nerd heaven so what! Who else do you think read series fiction. Although Jessica sneers at books I knew more ‘Jessica’s’ reading series fiction than say perhaps Newberry fiction , in my own way I was a slight Jessica – having a group of friends that loved talking about boys , clothes and makeup rather than doing homework. But we liked to read! I think sometimes the writers forget about that when they’re creating their characters – it’s like in the world of Svh there’s a marked sense of unreality to minor things – reading of course is one of them , a strange phenomena when the writers world hinges on readers to then slur them as nerds it’s well kinda like a slap in the face. I’m glad for these books which put reading on such a glowing level. I’ m forever mentally rewriting things and thought what would have been great at the end of the sleepover was if Goldie gave each R.A.B.B.I.T the ultimate party favor – a shiny new paper back book!

P.s. what would you wear to your sixth grade class sleepover? – I don’t think I’d be that brave I was prone to sleeping in flannel jogging suit sets – which are kinda like p.j’s but in spring I’d switch to a night shirt – I think I had one with bears cuddling on it – you know very Lisa Frank ( the sticker designer ). My sleeping bag was – dare I admit it – Pound Puppies. My reading for the night would’ve been Sweet Valley high!

The Pictures are from various readers from the 70’s and 80’s by Ginn and company and Ripple Effects. Hope you enjoy.